Heaps Upon

The rise and fall of life makes for interesting times. This roller coaster, as unpredictable as it may be, makes me sick from time to time. Though it is not an option, I crave for the ground to not be shifting under my feet. I long for times when the world does not flip upside down and everything goes in reverse or at least feels like it's in reverse. There are many theme park rides that can reflect the feeling of life, but at times I'd rather be on the bench watching others on their rides and take a breather from life. Fortunately and unfortunately, Heavenly Father did not intend life to be that way. We are to be active participants in life.

There are times in my life when I was a benchwarmer, and I hated the feeling of wasting my time while others experienced things. Even though I'd rather not go through another rough patch in my amusement park ride called life, I don't want to feel regret missing out on something that could potentially be wonderful. Right now there is much potential in my life. The inertia is nearly driving me crazy, but the potential outcome of this stress, frustration, and overall negativity will easily outweigh my current state of frustration and anguish. Really, my life isn't bad at all. I'm doing something that I absolutely love doing. I live in paradise (no, I'm not rubbing it in, I think Washington state is paradise too), and I get to see the ocean and amazing hills all in one day. Sometimes I see those all within hours or minutes of each other.

Heh, contentment really doesn't last. All you can do is remain as close to the Lord as you can, and hope that things will eventually turn around in His time. I'm probably going through this stress because right now is a time that I need to learn as much patience as I can. Though I would rather trade in this stress in the drop of a dime, there is something here for me to experience that I must experience, and I won't throw that aside. Somewhat contradictory... well, yeah. That happens from time to time.